lucky.

‎How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

change.

In a person's life, there are many changes.

Some changes are noticable, yet some go without notice.

Changes happen every minute, every second.

Some changes are easy to adapt to, some not so easy.

Throughout life, a person goes through many stages of metamorphosis.

Each stage is a change, a step closer to being the person God has designed you to be.

You start out as a child, a naive human being with a full life ahead of you.

Each year, you learn a little more, grow a little more.

Before you know it, you are a teenager, and you are able to test

the limits that are set before you, try new things, and experience life with little responsibilty.

Along the way, you make mistakes, lose friends, gain friends,

find love, and experience heartache.

By the time you're a young adult, life is simpler, yet it gets harder by the day.

You keep the lessons you learned in your back pocket, and pull them out

when you need to be reminded that you don't want to head down that road again.

You learn what your passions in life are and what drives you to accomplish all of your goals.

You find the life you are comfortable with, satisfied with, and settle with

the person you love and care about the most.

You find out the true definition of family through struggle, excitement, disagreement,

loss, forgiveness, good news, and bad news.

Still, with each passing year, you are learning things you didn't know before

and you are experiencing things as you've never experienced them before.

Before long you look back and ask yourself, "where did time go?"

You evaluate your life, and hopefully you will be able to say that at every

stage, every change in life, you were able to accomplish every goal you had set for yourself.

Of course there will be some regrets, some things you wish you could erase,

or do-over, but they all made you exactly who you are.

And every change is a reason to look back at your life and realize what you've gone

through to get to this point in your life.

Personally, I've never been the one to accept change very easily.

But, like everyone else, change follows me wherever I go, and I learn

to adapt and go on with life as if a change never even occurred.

Today, however, was a different story.

Today had been a long anticipated day, a day I've dreaded.

Today, was the day that we put my grandfather in a nursing home.

It seems like just yesterday he was sitting in the floor with me

helping me dress my barbies, taking me to piano practice,

writing about my daily activities in a journal he always kept,

and hiding easter eggs for me in his front yard.

But all of those things are long gone.

When my grandmother died eleven years ago, my grandfather lost his wife,

best friend, and the one person he adored the most.

Life, for him, was never the same.

A few years later, he began showing early signs of Alzheimers.

Things progressed quickly, and the grandfather that I once knew

was quickly replaced with a grandfather that was so foreign and different to me.

Out of fear and anger, I didn't want to have anything to do with him.

How dare this disease come and change the grandfather that had raised me,

who had been a part of every different stage of my life.

I went a few years with this mindset. Looking back, I regret it.

Can I change it? No.

I can only hope and pray that I've been able to make up for lost time.

Every chance he gets, he reminds me that I look just like my grandmother.

Every chance he gets, he reminds me of how pretty I am, even on my worst days.

Every chance he gets, he tells me that he loves me.

I can forever say that he has had an impact on my life.

Lately, I've grown much closer to my grandfather.

We've had some heart to heart conversations that I never would have imagined having.

In the end, he always tells me that he wants me to be happy.

Today, I would not be able to say that I was happy.

My heart broke to see my grandfather at this huge change in his life.

I'm sure today was a day of reflection for him.

He went from being in a surrounding that he'd known forever

to a place that I'm sure he never thought he'd have to face.

Tears were shed, thoughts were left unsaid.

As I left, I thought about the time I've spent with him.

I'm challenged to be a better person because of him.

I want to be able to accomplish everything I have set before me.

One small thing can change your life.

Change. This time, I'm going to accept it and use it to make myself

exactly who God has designed me to be, and this is part of that

journey and it all begins with a little change.

photobooth.

new orleans.

Yesterday, I planned on having a day trip to Hattiesburg with Jonathan.

We had everything planned out -- stop by Jones, trip to the zoo, eat at Keg and Barrel,

maybe even catch an afternoon movie that I've been dying to see.

Once we got to Hattiesburg, we decided to keep driving.

An hour and a half later, we were in New Orleans.

I was so excited. New Orleans is one of my favorite places to visit.

And what's better than going with one of your favorite people in the world?

We had such a great day from start to finish.

We walked and walked and ate and ate.

We stopped by Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop (the oldest structure used as a bar in the country),

ate a quick bite at Mother's, shopped at Riverwalk, ate AGAIN at

Coop's place, and then had dessert at Cafe du Monde.

And along the way we stopped in tons of souvenir shops, had discussions about pirates,

and sweated, ALOT.

It was so great to get away, just for the day, live life and be spontaneous.

I need a little bit more of that in my life.

New Orleans has always been a place I could visit over and over again,

and this trip was the best yet. Without a doubt.

beach.

Yesterday, I was at the beach with my boyfriend. Today, I was back at work.

Reality sucks.

Friday morning I woke up early (for me) and got ready. I was like a kid.

Super excited. Drove 3.5 hours to the beach.

Did a little shopping. Well, I supervised and didn't buy a thing.

Ate seafood. Watched movies. Sat on the beach.

Saturday morning, we went to the beach.

I was dragged into the water. But I didnt mind. I had a cute guy by my side.

Saw jellyfish, stingray, and crabs. Pretty awesome.

After lunch, Jonathan took me up in the plane.

It was the first time he had taken me flying, and I absolutely loved it.

We flew along the coastline and he even let me fly the plane.

That night, we went to his cousin's wedding on the beach.

To top the day off, Mississippi State won their season opener and Ole Miss lost.

Sunday, Jonathan left on a plane back to Memphis, I left on a plane back to Forest.

We are always going in opposite directions it seems like.

But I do love the time I got to spend with him this weekend.

The beach is my favorite place in the world, and I'm so glad I was there with him.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

hurry up.

Only two days separating me from the beach and the boyfriend.

I'm so ready.

WEEKEND, HURRY UP!

grandmother.

To you, this is just a picture.
But to me, this is a picture of my grandmother.
She was beautiful, loving, and often times, demanding.
I give her all the credit for turning me into a girly girl.
Dresses, bows, you name it and she made sure that's all I wore.
Looking back, I remember so much yet so little about her.
I remember going with her to the beauty shop every Friday.
I remember her cooking spaghetti for me because she knew it was my favorite.
I remember her playing with my hair until I fell asleep.
I did my homework with her, she was a perfectionist.
Her favorite hobby was cleaning.
When I was ten, she started getting sick. Often.
As I left her house one afternoon, I remember telling her 'bye'
And making sure she knew I loved her.
The next day, she was in ICU.
She never came home.
I hate the fact that I was never able to go in and see her one last time.
I hate the fact that she was gone too soon.
Often times I wonder what she would think of me now.
Would she be proud of me?
I think about her so much, even though she has been gone eleven years.
When people see me they say, "You were Nancy's granddaughter.
You look just like her."
It's so hard to hear that. Even now.
I wish she could have seen me grow up.
I wish I could remember more about her.
I know how much my grandfather loved her. He adored her.
I think that as I've grown older, and realized what an important
person I lost at such a young age, it has made me never take life for granted.
You are given every day to make a difference in someone else's life or even your own.
Never take a day with the people you love the most for granted.
Goodbyes are hard, life changing.
But they make you think, about life.
I'm so lucky to have had a wonderful grandmother that loved me.
I'm blessed.